One aspect of having cancer is dealing with constant tests and procedures. Even being in remission does not seem to slow down the constant scans, blood draws, and incisions. Actually if anything it appears to be worse after chemo has stopped. In this post I will briefly share my experience dealing with the constant tests and procedures.
It seems the doctors constant want to scan or poke me
Prior to getting cancer I would rarely go to the doctor. Like many people I really don’t like going to the doctor unless I really need to. People like me tend to get somewhat overwhelmed once we have cancer and have to make constant trips to the hospital and clinic.
During chemo I was obviously at the hospital a lot. But even after chemo was completed I have had a lot of visits to the clinic to have scans or be poked. Below is a list of visits to the hospital and clinics I’ve had over the last six months since completing my chemo. Each of these visits was for a scan or to be poked.
- PET scan to ensure I was in remission
- Bone marrow biopsy
- Second bone marrow biopsy due to the first one not working
- X-Ray of chest due to breathing issues
- X-Ray of neck/chest to see why port was not working
- Ultrasound of neck to check on growth on neck
- Biopsy of neck to check growth on neck
- X-Ray of teeth due to abscessed tooth
- Extraction of two teeth
- Overnight sleep study at hospital
- Second overnight sleep study at hospital
- X-Ray of chest again for breathing problems
- Ultrasound of lump on shoulder
- Removal of large lump on shoulder
- Removal of stitches from shoulder surgery
- CT scan of chest and CT scan of abdomen to ensure I’m still in remission
The above list is the test and procedures I can remember off the top of my head (my hospital chart app won’t let me log in right now to see what ones I’m forgetting). It does not include the many doctor visits dealing with those tests and procedures. The list is also missing the maintenance infusions I receive every eight weeks (today happens to be another maintenance infusion day).
Not wanting to tell the doctor when something new comes up
All of these scans, tests, and procedures tend to get overwhelming. It has gotten to the point where I become very apprehensive about mentioning any new symptoms or issues I am having. I’ve spoken to many cancer patients who feel the same way. Just one little comment or question seems to lead to a new scan or procedure.
It’s not that I don’t understand that these scans and procedures are important. I really do. But nonetheless they do become overwhelming. It feels as if I spend more time at the clinic and hospital than I do spending time with my kids.
Stress added to family
It is not only me who feels additional stress from these constant tests and procedures. This spring my wife had a heart attack for the second year in a row. There are many factors in her hear condition, and stress is obviously one of those factors. Having to bring her husband to constant tests and procedures increases the stress upon her. Then of course there is the stress she feels waiting for the results of each test. I would say it is probably even more stressful for her than it is for myself.
My kids also have additional stress added to their lives with these constant tests. The boys try to hide any worry they have. Yet I have noticed they get more clingy and attentive after I’ve had procedures done. As a parent I can tell they are worried and trying their best to help me. I truly feel bad about putting so much stress on my boys, especially the younger ones.
Things likely won’t change
As I conclude this short post, I can’t help but feel things will not change going forward. I’ve spoken to many patients who have lymphoma spread throughout their body and bones like I have. For many of them the constant tests and procedures never slow down once remission has been reached. A large part of me feels I will be one of those patients that will constantly be visiting doctors until the day I die.
Don’t get me wrong though! I am very happy to be alive and will do what I need in order to remain alive. But that doesn’t change the fact that the constant scans and procedures are wearing me down.
Today’s Song: I don’t need no doctor!
For today’s song I go back to a classic track from Humble Pie. This song often goes through my head when I get tired of the constant scans and procedures. The song also reminds me of how much I really just want to be with my wife.
Bonus Track: Under the Blade
Today’s bonus track goes back to the 80’s with a song from the hair metal band Twisted Sister. This song is a bit heavier in style than what I normally share on this site. But the song has to do with dealing the anxiety of going into surgery (and not about suicide as it had been wrongly accused of back in the day).