Yesterday I was supposed to have my latest maintenance infusion of Rituxan (Rituximab). That did not happen after consulting with the oncology CNP and oncologist. My memory issues have not improved, and they decided to schedule an MRI for me instead. In this post, I will briefly discuss my memory loss and upcoming MRI.
Memory loss is not improving.
I’ve noticed memory loss issues for quite a while now. Over a year ago, I mentioned it in my post about brain fog (chemo brain). Since that time, my short-term memory problems have not improved. I think they have become worse. It has gotten to the point where my kids don’t even like to tell me about anything coming up because they figure I will forget it anyhow.
My memory loss has also become one of the reasons I try to avoid too many people. It gets frustrating trying to talk to people with the knowledge that I might be forgetting conversations from earlier. I’ve turned in to the person that repeats the same story over and over again. Even worse, I’ve become the person that can’t be trusted to remember anything. It gets quite frustrating.
Nothing seems to work for improving memory loss.
I’ve noted before that playing logic games helps out with the thinking portion of brain fog. Sometimes the fog is so thick I can’t write a single blog post. But after playing logic and brain games for a little while, the mist will open up enough for me to think straight. As far as I can tell, playing games does not help with my memory loss. I’ve also tried memory and other brain games. Nothing seems to work.
Of course, part of the problem is I don’t know just how often I am suffering from memory loss. There are times where friends or family members will bring it to my attention. And of course, there are times I am sitting somewhere trying to remember what I was going to do. But I can’t help but wonder how often I am experiencing short-term memory loss and don’t realize. How am I supposed to know I forgot something if I don’t remember there was something to forget?
I am getting an MRI of the brain.
When I had my consult with the oncology CNP yesterday, I brought this up. My wife was there back up what I was telling the CNP. I think my wife is even more worried about my memory issues than I am. It can’t be easy for her to be married to someone going through memory issues.
The CNP and oncologist met about my memory loss and decided against having me take my Rituxan infusion. Instead, I would be scheduled for an MRI of the brain. They want to try to narrow down what is causing the memory loss. This short-term memory loss could still be part of my brain fog from going through chemo last year. It could also be a side-effect of the Rituximab.
There are other possibilities unrelated to chemo that could be causing my memory loss. It is possible cancer has spread into my brain and is causing issues. I doubt this is the issue, but it is a possibility. There are also possibilities I can’t think of, which an MRI may be able to spot. I believe the main reason I’m getting an MRI is to make sure these other possibilities are not causing my memory loss.
MRI on Monday
My MRI is scheduled for Monday morning. Some date after that I will have an appointment with a neurologist as well. I’m not nervous about either appointment. Personally, I think my short-term memory loss is still a side effect of the brain fog caused by chemo. But I have researched enough cancer stories now to know that there are other possibilities, and I suppose it isn’t a bad thing getting more information about my brain health.
PS. I also found out I will be taking my port out. But that is a post for another day.
Song of the Day – Let’s Make a Memory
Talking about memories brings this classic Roy Orbison song to mind.
Bonus Song: Check My Brain
The bonus song is a little harder rock than I usually post on this page. I can’t help but think of this Alice in Chains song when thinking about going through a brain scan.