Cancer sucks. It not only affects the person who has cancer, but also many family members and friends. In my case, my wife has taken on the role of my primary caregiver. Being a caregiver for a loved one is hard! In this post, I’ll briefly discuss how I am trying to help her help me.
I’ll help you through this
Back when I received my cancer diagnosis, I remember visiting with my wife on our deck. I could tell she didn’t know whether to be angry, to cry, or scream. I remember telling her, “don’t worry, I’ll help you through this.” She just stared at me and said: “but I’m supposed to be helping you!”. That is a moment I will never forget.
Looking back, I think we were both right. In so many ways, my wife has been the perfect caregiver, especially when I go through treatments. She spent hours sanitizing our house when I had to go through chemo. My wife continually goes out of her way to keep sick people away from me. At every medical appointment, my wife is there. Of the very few appointments my wife hasn’t made, she sets up someone to be with me and worries the whole time. It appears to me that my wife spends more time worrying about my health than anything else.
I’ve tried many ways to care for my wife while she is taking care of me. The only thing that seems to work is to spend time with her. When I think about it, I reassure her I am not going anywhere anytime soon. I try to let my wife know just how much I appreciate everything she is doing for me. That even includes the times she nags me to be careful when going into a public event, such as a concert. I keep trying to assure her I will be there for her.
Assuring her I’m here is the key
Part of me wishes I could do more for my wife. And yes, I do try to do more for her. But in the end, all she seems to want is an assurance that I am not going anywhere. If anyone out there is in a similar situation, I would let your caregiver know just how much you appreciate what they are doing. If that caregiver is a spouse or family member, I would recommend assuring them you plan to stick around for quite a while. Fighting this cancer shit can suck at times, but with the help of a great caregiver (especially a wonderful wife), the battle doesn’t have to suck quite as much.
Song of the day: Stand By Me
I think this classic song performed by Ben E King says it all.
Bonus Song: Lean On Me
Another song that I think says it all. A few good remakes have been recorded of this song, but I’m sharing the original from Bill Withers. It’s just such a great song with an important message.