In April, I had blogged about my regularly scheduled maintenance infusion being delayed a month. My next maintenance infusion never happened. Due to publishing issues, I have not blogged since then and decided now I would catch everyone up on why I stopped my Rituximab maintenance infusions.
Ongoing memory issues
Through my blog over the last year, I have posted many times about memory issues. Actually, of all the side effects from lymphoma and chemotherapy, memory issues by far are the most problematic for me. Ever since going through chemo, I have had problems with short-term memory. And it isn’t just a thing where I’m not paying attention. It’s also not a situation where I will remember later on. A lot of conversations I have had with family and friends disappear after I have them. It is not every conversation, but enough to be quite concerning.
A final visit with the neurologist
I’ve visited with a neurologist a couple of times over the last year. The last of these appointments occurred in April. Up until this time it was believed my memory issues were being caused by the maintenance drug I had been taking, Rituximab. He noted this is not a common, or even uncommon, side-effect of Rituximab. But he did say with drugs such as Rituximab, it is not unheard of for a patient to have very rare side-effects which are not generally seen in other patients. It is his belief that my short-term memory loss could in fact be a side-effect of Rituximab. His recommendation was to stop the use of Rituximab and look at alternatives.
Meeting with the oncologist
In May, I had the appointment scheduled for my maintenance infusion of Rituximab. Before the injection was expected to begin, I had a meeting with my oncologist. I spoke with her about my short-term memory loss. Also, the input from the neurologist was taken into consideration. It was my oncologist’s recommendation to stop maintenance to see if the memory loss would become better.
At that time, I had about a year and a quarter of maintenance infusions. The original plan was to have two years of maintenance. We hope the infusions I could receive are enough to keep the lymphoma at bay for a good number of years. Going into this, we knew maintenance wouldn’t get rid of lymphoma cancer altogether, but it has been shown to prolong remission for many people. Hopefully, I received enough dosages to be in remission for a good decade before needing more invasive treatment (such as chemo or CAR-T cell therapy).
Three-month follow-up with my oncologist
Last month I had my three-month follow-up with my oncologist. She, of course, asked if my memory issues had been getting better. I should have been prepared for the question. But honestly, I was caught a bit off guard. As I looked back at my summer, I realized there seemed to be very few memory issues. I can’t recall any embarrassing situations that came about because I forgot a whole conversation. And being off maintenance, I feel better than I have in ages.
My wife did mention she thinks I still have some memory issues. She might be right. But they don’t seem to be anywhere near what they used to be. In fact, my current memory issues are few and far between and seem to be more of a chemo-brain type thing than a full-blow side-effect of Rituximab. As time goes on, I’ll have to try to figure out a way of seeing whether my memory issues have gotten better.
Goodbye to maintenance
I must admit I’m not sad to be done with maintenance. Going into maintenance I was willing to put up with the side-effects and lowered immune system with the hope it would continue my remission. Had the side-effect kept to feeling weak and flu-like symptoms I would have continued on maintenance all the way until its two-year conclusion. But these memory issues really had me worried. A great fear of mine is that these memory issues would stay with me for life. There is a possibility that continuing on Rituximab would have done permanent damage to my memory. Permanent memory issues just to possibly extend my time in remission just didn’t seem worth it.
Song of the day: Say Goodbye
There are a lot of songs about leaving something behind and saying goodbye. The song I chose for saying goodbye to maintenance comes from Kid Rock. The following lines went into my head while thinking of saying goodbye to Rituximab:
comes a time we have to face itSay Goodbye, Kid Rock
maybe it’s just time to say goodbye
Bonus Song: Fooling Yourself
This song from Styx often comes to mind when I plan significant changes in life. I particularly like this live version found on YouTube.